Week 11: Measuring the Cost

This week was Fascinating! (as always).  I studied...

1. The Formula for Success talk by Thomas S. Monson (March 1996), 
2. An article by the action school of business titled, Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,
3. A few videos about balancing work and life/family  
4. Lesson 6:Financial Fitness, a Launching Leaders video
5. And an article Attitude on Money, (Stephen W. Gibson, Jan 2017) which is what this weeks post will be focusing on.

What is your attitude toward money?

The article talks about Filters in our minds (ideas, beliefs, opinions, teachings we picked up when we were young) that color our perception of money.  In the process of becoming independent thinkers, we get to choose which lenses to accept and continue using, and which to let go of. 

I feel like I'm on a continuous journey in my view of money.  I learn enlightening principles, and feel motivated and healthy about that view when I am highly aware and focused on it, but I tend to revert back to the "ignore the problem and maybe it will go away" or a passive, lack of personal responsibility view, "the Lord will take care of us, so I don't have to think about money" way of thinking as soon as I let go of that focus.  For example, Ryan and I participated in the Church's "Personal Finance for Self Reliance" Class.  While taking the class, money was at the forefront of our thinking, how to attain it, manage it instead of being a slave to it... We set monetary priorities, (Tithing/Fast off., Pay self, pay off debts, Savings...that's what I remember, since it hasn't been my focus since the class ended...).  We made plans, even did a cash envelope system and were being consistent with our daily tracking and spending of money in a tangible way.  BUT...as soon as the class was over and we reverted to a digital format of tracking, within a month, our old habits, past views, and the natural man ways of thinking kicked in and we stopped paying attention, which has taken us on one financial roller coaster after another.  I'm trying not to be too hard on ourselves as we continue to become educated and follow the process of mastery in this area of life.  

How can your view of money affect the way you live?

"Money has the power to make good men better but also makes bad men worse", "Money often reveals the kind of person we are".  We can mange our money with agency, having self reliance as a priority and using it as a tool to better our lives and the lives of those around us, or we can be a slave to money, thinking it as a kind of magic, never really understanding how to attain it or manage it.  our view on money very much affects the way we live.  Living in financial ignorance and debt, fosters anxiety and fear, while living a self reliant life encourages peace, and opportunity.     

What rules are recommended for prospering?

1. Seek the Lord and have hope in him

2. Keep the Commandments and be faithful in paying Tithes and Fast Offerings

3. Think about and plan how to become self reliant

4. Take opportunity to learn-continue seeking education.

5. Learn the laws upon which the blessings of money are predicated.

6. Do not send away the naked, hungry, thirsty, captive.  (education releases the ignorant and captive).

The beautiful reminders this week have motivated me to again get on the same financial page with Ryan.  We've talked about having a fresh start after we get home from this Thanksgiving travels and family adventures.  We want to sit down and refresh ourselves on the finance course we took, setting goals and priorities, and schedules to keep track and again become wise stewards of our finances.  

Week 10: Dream Big Dreams

Things I liked about this week's studies:

The Heart of Entrepreneurship (Howard H. Stevenson & David E. Gumpert 1985)

• All they need from a resource is the ability to use it
• Avoid owning equipment or hiring people
• Using rather than owning enables the company to reduce its risk and its fixed costs
• Leasing or renting reduces risk
• Using instead of owning a resource lowers the cost of pulling out of a project
• THE SEARCH FOR PERFECTION IS THE ENEMY OF THE GOOD
• Keep their organizations learning-effective Entrepreneurs who are effective make the sparest allotment of resources.   necessity is the mother of invention, make imaginative use of their limited resources. Do more with less.
• Most of the risk in entrepreneurial management lies in the effort to pursue opportunity with inappropriate resources, either too few or too many.  (large corporations tend to make the basic error of over committing resources.)
• A multistage commitment allows responsiveness; a one-time commitment creates unnecessary risk.

I loved everything about the talk The Challenge to Become, by elder Dallin H Oaks (Oct 2000 Gen Conference).  Mostly that it matters more about who we are becoming than about who we are now.

 Your emotional fingerprint by Woody Woodward sounds like a fascinating book that I'd love to read.  I am very interested in understanding myself at a deeper level; what makes me feel important, how I respond, and what my key driving forces in life are, so I can better take control of my life.  I like the idea of validating inward emotions and letting go of outward stimuli and validation.  What motivates and drives me to feel important and accomplished?  This is a real question that comes back continually in my life.  What is my definition of success?  How can I feel accomplished and important in what I'm doing and not feel that I'm always "not quite there yet"...

Week 9: Disciple Leadership

Disciple Leadership: Learning from and faithfully following Jesus Christ, and bringing others to higher ground.

Wow, this week has been amazing, like every week!  Though I feel  anxiety over the deadlines and assignments, I absolutely LOVE learning from the inspired truths we've been studying each week.  The books, videos, and articles from entrepreneurs, prophets and other spiritual leaders, and great minds through the ages of time.  These people understand true underlying principles that govern all areas of life, not only business, which is why I find things so applicable to my life right now, even though I'm not in the market to actually start a business.  I apply the entrepreneurial principles to myself, my life, and my family. 

Being a great entrepreneur starts with being a great person.  We are studying about overcoming human nature and working on ourselves.  It is not about the details of running business as I thought it would be.  I am fascinated by studying human nature, how one forms and changes habits, and builds character.  I'm gaining new insights and understanding that help me be patient with my process to greatness.

I'm constantly evaluation and inspecting myself.  In the Hero's Journey book this week I read stories like the parable of the talents and wise stewardship, about Icarus who's wax wings melted because of his neglecting to heed his fathers warning, about the emperor and flower seed where the girl told the truth that her flower didn't grow and she was the one to become the next emperor because of her honesty, greedy king Midas with his golden touch, the lion and the mouse... each motivating, inspiring, making my heart burn and grow, hungering for more. Constantly fueling my mind with great ideas and truths, I'm sure it will help in my journey to become my best self.

I learned about 3 principles of leading with a small L: Leading by Example, Vision, and Love.

Example: I gained heart and adjusted my focus from "getting my kids to do things" to being reminded that they are watching me closely and my example speaks louder than any lecture I try to teach.  I only need to live, respond, and be, the way I want them to live, respond, and be.

Here I recognized some things to work on.  I expect them to react and respond to each other calmly, say ok or disagree appropriately, and have good attitudes about their responsibility.  Regretfully, my reactions, responses, and attitudes can be at times curt, annoyed, overwhelmed, and I tend to be easily discouraged...  I realize I need to address and work on my own health and wellness in this area so that my kids will know how to respond and react to each other, and their responsibilities in healthier more productive ways.

Vision:  Where there is no vision, the people perish!  Leading with vision just makes so much sense!  I'd like to do better at that, and making each task meaningful/purposeful instead of focusing so much on the tasks at hand needing to get done.

Love: "we love him because he first loved us" (John in bible)  Energize others with love in action.  care and nurture, have family home evening, teaching to love and serve others and keep commandments.  Support and encourage by having structure and discipline.  LOVE THIS!

What!?!?!!!
I was dreading studying the summary of Good to Great It seemed long and boring. (I should know by now that boring is a state of mind unwilling to learn...rarely do I find learning anything truly boring.  I think I was more overwhelmed by the sheer amount of readings and videos I needed to get through the beginning of this week;)  I applied my family anywhere it talked about business and WOW! it was amazing how much sense each step made.

The 3 elements that create a standard of excellence.

1. Disciplined People, 2. Disciplined Thought, and 3. Disciplined Action

These 3 elements broken down into 6 key concepts in the good to great transition process: 

1. Level 5 leadership:  Are Ryan and I level 5 leaders?

2. First "Who" then "What":  I Can't really choose the who, we have the children we have, but the idea of "getting the right people on board" hit me hard!  I need my whole family on board with the family we want to create and where we want to go.

3. Confront the True Facts:  Looooooong sigh, I know.  Openly face the realities without losing faith  (the loosing faith part is where I struggle.  I am really good at observing and pointing out what's wrong).  Analysis, leading discussions with questions, genuine dialogue and debate, with moderators/mediators, continue until a consensus reached.  mistakes turned into learning experiences...Wow, just all of this idea of confronting the facts was amazing when I thought of applying it to our family.  I've been working so hard and so long to find the perfect ideal family I want and push the others to join my vision but seem to be pulling all the weight myself.  I felt these quotes deeply:

" leading from good to great does not mean coming up with the answers 

and then motivating everyone to follow your messianic vision." 

"They didn't use discussion as a sham process to let people 'have their say' 

so that they could 'buy in' to a predetermined decision.  the process was 

more like a heated scientific debate, with people engaged in a search 

for the best answers."  Jim Collins

The inspiration of this book kept going but I might as well write a novel if I wanted to address them all.  I'll just wrap it up with a short explanation of the last few concepts.

4. Hedgehog Concept:  focused on exactly what you want, not distracted.

5. Culture of Discipline: Building a culture of freedom and responsibility within a well defined framework. 

6. Technology accelerator: balanced viewpoint, only use if it would accelerate their progress. Technology used as a TOOL to further hedgehog principle.

Week 8.5 More on Overcoming Challenges (2 of 2 posts)

I've been noticing a lot of frustration, chaos, bad attitudes, jealousy, anger, fighting, pessimism, critical words, unkind body language, distraction and short fuses in our home lately...by ALL of us. I keep trying to change things that I know are problems, trying to work on home management skills, healthy communication, cause and effect with extra chores given for negative behaviors...but I feel that my efforts are getting me centimeters of progress, or backsliding further. I have been quick to forget even when I make a plan and start to implement, the natural man in me is so strong trying to stay where I am and not change even as my spirit reaches and longs for the needed change in myself, my home and family.

After feeling the decline of the spirit in my home, and praying and pondering about a solution for a while, I woke up with these specific words in my mind. Upon searching, I found that they originated from a talk given by Boyd K Packer in 1986 in a talk titled, "Little Children", (before I was born). The scripture is true that says that the Holy Ghost shall "teach you all things, and bring all things to your rememberance" (John 14:26), and "by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know that truth of all things" (Moroni 10:5). The spirit did bring this to my mind whether I heard it quoted from someone else or I remember it from before I was born;)

Specific spiritual direction:

• Study Come Follow Me as a family
• Have FUN together, (In Family Home Evening and else wear)
• Make family meals a priority
• Take the time to pray fervently with and for my family.
• Take turns reading aloud and discussing together the Book of Mormon with Jenna and Hannah specifically. (help with learning doctrines, changing attitudes and behaviors, building faith, and reading skills as well)
• My friend April at TJED commonwealth school brought up the idea of a morning basket with morning family devotional items in it. I could keep J, H, and My scriptures in there to read at the table, along with a friend magazine, and poetry, family read aloud...I like the idea of having it all in one place. (Just checked on my friend magazine subscription ordered end of September, It should be coming soon! I miss having it laying around the house to be picked up through the day;)

We have been neglecting to study come follow me as a family, I have been listening to conference talks each morning but it's before anybody is awake. We have half-hearted family prayers at night and the meals that we actually sit down together, not that often lately either. I've been going to sleep with kids while Ryan stays up doing homework/work, I wake up at 3-5am to do homework before kids are awake. I am feeling like a negative Nancy and am having a hard time noticing and feeling loved and blessed. I've been feeling really bad about myself and am taking out all my frustrations on my family. (Especially since Hannah's dentist appointment and finding out her teeth are rotting around many old cavity fillings and all over her mouth...eek! this scares me).
I feel like we need to change our home environment in many ways. I go back and forth from overwhelmed to hopeful and know that satan and his angels are working on me overtime...I must be doing a great work! I also know that My Savior and His angels are more powerful and are working together to lift me. I know that the atonement of Jesus Christ has the power to strengthen me and help my small and simple efforts become something great! All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. I can do this! I can strengthen my family by my example, by my mothering, managing and nurturing efforts and call upon every angel who can be spared to protect me from evil as I pray, show my faith, and work hard to be humble and guided by the spirit and implement a healthier faith-filled happier lifestyle with my family.

Another cool thing! Since that day (Thursday 10/31/19 last week) that I woke up with those thoughts, another was right out of reach in my mind. I know I read it recently about strengthening the home and family by coming unto Christ and that instead of teaching what not to do, "don't think you're better than your sister, stop doing this, stop doing that"...bring the children unto Christ...something like that, I couldn't even figure out how to search for it and just couldn't remember who had talked about it. This morning! I remembered it was President Eyring, with a quick search, I found it! A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells April 2019 General Conference! I'm so happy! Here are a few lines from the talk I loved:

• You could have limited success by calling a child to repent, for instance, of pride. You might try persuading children to share what they have more generously. You could ask them to stop feeling they are better than someone else in the family. But then you come to the symptom I described earlier as “They began to diminish in their faith in Jesus Christ.”
• As you help them grow in faith that Jesus Christ is their loving Redeemer, they will feel a desire to repent. As they do, humility will begin to replace pride. As they begin to feel what the Lord has given them, they will want to share more generously. Rivalry for prominence or recognition will diminish. Hate will be driven out by love. And finally, like it did for the people converted by King Benjamin, the desire to do good will fortify them against temptation to sin. King Benjamin’s people testified that they had “no more disposition to do evil.”3
• "So building faith in Jesus Christ is the beginning of reversing spiritual decline in your family and in your home. That faith is more likely to bring repentance than your preaching against each symptom of spiritual decline."

Week 8: Overcoming Challenges (1 of 2 posts)

We discussed all kinds of inspirational messages this week!  I probably feel this way because I'm constantly overcoming challenges and it is a struggle. Of course we had to watch Elder Holland's video from his talk "Good Things to Come".  I love this talk! 

"“Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead.” Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

President Monson's message on "looking back and moving forward" talks about one of our sweetest blessings being the guiding promptings of the spirit to direct us in furthering His work.  

Then there was another talk by Elder Holland, "However Long and Hard the Road",  He talks about keeping a sense of humor, (the only thing that keeps me sane at times!) and putting our energies into becoming, being excited about growing, developing, and our personal potential.  The only limitations are from ourselves. Sacrifice, effort, and patience.  Some things are good to terminate, others to persevere, hang one, keep going, Lord can make small things into something great. 

One video we watched talked about the idea of "5 whys". (Stanford Technology Venture Program with Eric Ries) When encountered with a problem, it is usually a surface problem, by asking "Why?" a few times, you can dig down to the root cause/problem and by addressing that, little by little, you fix future problems from surfacing.  It reminds me of the "give a mouse a cookie" effect from a problem to a solution:

1. Why didn't I do the dishes, I don't have soap,
2. Why don't I have soap, I didn't go to the grocery story,
3. Why? Don't know if I have money in the bank,
4. Why? Didn't do my weekly Finance meeting
5. Why? Meeting isn't scheduled on my calendar so forgot.

The root cause here seems to be time management instead of a lazy dishwasher.  

In the book we're reading "Hero's Journey" it talks about facing our dragons, (Chapter 8)  Dig down until you come to an actual "dragon" you need to face to resolve the problem once and for all.  (I can always dig down deeper to my needing to strengthen faith in and acceptance of the Savior's Atonement to help me accept and love myself and call upon his power to help me change and make great, what I feel like I have only a small and simple effort to give).

I've really enjoyed reading the Hero's Journey book.  What I've read so far has been small sections of beautiful, inspiring and substantial messages.  The authors pull direct stories, speeches, and quotes from great minds and historical figures, and have put them together into chapters.  This makes me feel that the information is credible, as well as enjoyable and easy to read.  

Week 7: Moving forward with a driving passion

This week as I was finishing reading and writing a report on the book Mastery by George Leonard, I also studied The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven R Covey.  I didn't read the actual 7 habits book but studied a summary of the book from summaries.com and watched an introduction and summarizing video of the 7 habits with Jim Ritchie from The Ministry of Business and Launching Leaders LLC.

I've picked up the 7 habits book a few times in the past with every intention of reading it only to find my attention waning after a couple pages.  Because of my previous lack of success with reading the book, I appreciated the thorough summaries we studied.

1. Which of the 7 habits  has the most meaning for you?

At this point in my life the most meaningful, or one that is the most relevant at the moment, is to put first things first.  I make plans, I make SO MANY PLANS! Inspiring and beautiful goals and plans of life...but I haven't ever felt like I've got it right.  I don't quite know what I want and have a difficult time visualizing when the goals are abstract thoughts and feelings.  How do I measure that? How do I see progress toward being happy, feeling peaceful, or living in the present with my eye on the eternal?  How do I even know where to start?!  I have made myself print my goals out anyway, then I put them in a binder, in my journal, or even post them on the wall, only to glance right past them it's like it becomes part of the unnoticed walls in the house. 

I have been quick to forget and slow to remember... want to change this and keep a focus on the bigger picture and be able to bring those abstract thoughts into doable daily habits and steps with assurance that if I just keep on the path of mastery, continually practicing and doing my healthy habits, I will transform into the person I want to be even if it seems immeasurable right now.

2. Why will the 7 habits help you fill your life with passion and purpose as you seek to achieve both a private and public victory?

I have found myself desiring to make a difference with others; to utilize and collaborate with others to find win win life experiences and develop deep friendships.  I've recognized this week that I need to work more on my private victory habits to prepare me for the public victories I seek. 

I've again come across the thought recently that you be the friend you're looking for...and I realized that I want to be more clear on the kind of friend I'm looking for, so I have a better idea of what parts of my character to work on.  As I focus on being disciplined and implementing the first few habits of being proactive, beginning with the end in mind, and put first things first, I will be better able to think win/win, to understand and be understood, and to have a synergistic life and continue sharpening my saw.